Company of My Beloved

With no words to describe my agony
I became silent
only hoping that my tears will tell the story of my loss
but how can suffering of such a magnitude
be told with mere tear drops?

What I had lost was the flame to my dry woods,
breath to my dry lungs,
an answer to my every question
and bread to my hunger.
I had lost blood in my heart,
rest at night and left only with kneeling before the One,
praying and calling out His name.
A hope kindled in me every day as dawn broke
a hope of restoring my loss, fulfillment of my appetite
but as dusk came down
I lost my way and sat like a drunk
in my abode of nothingness and pain.

The fools around me asked me to drink herbs
for they did not know  that  my spirit was drunk with the potion that  my beloved served me in a vessel made not of copper, nor of silver.

it took no time to take me over and dissolve in my blood,
for now, my beloved has become a part of me-
With my flesh, my bones, my blood-
scented with his fragrance
I danced like a maniac
in the season of spring
with my every fragment blooming
with the scent of my beloved's  name.

For I feel safe in no bed without your warmth
and I taste no goodness in any food without you to share my plate,
I see no good in any dream without you beneath my head
and I find no happiness in this world without you sharing my breath.

My misery and longing cannot be expressed in mere words,
nor in a ballad or poem written with the ink of my tears;
come sit with me in silence and get drunk on my pain,
you will know my misery only when you walk drunken into the company of my beloved.